moving forreals.

http://hicheeky.wordpress.com/

touche

I really want to go back to tumblr. sigh. This is a love affair.

Today I was watching "Rent" with my dad and at one point of the movie, one of the guys said "touche" in response to another. He asked me what it meant. I tried to explain it for like 10 minutes and now he thinks it means something that it really does not. Some things are just hard to explain. but I saw this quote today:

“Be content to be nothing, for that is what you are. When your own emptiness is painfully forced upon your consciousness, chide yourself that you ever dreamed of being full, except in the Lord.” Charles Spurgeon

and now all I can say to that is, touche.

givethanks: reading, eagerness, "The Pursuit of Holiness", dady day

Me & My uniform

There are about a million things I'm feeling at the moment.
This white coat makes me anticipate for the long road ahead.
A long, but fast road.

I cant wait.



give thanks-- my mom's safe arrival, being home, realizing a few days earlier that my midterm was on Tuesday and not Thursday (thank goodness), the fact that it's only friday, summer weather, journaling, being back to my good ol' blogspot.

(I was going to be on tumblr but my Pastor Aaron led me back and brought me to common ground. Decided to stay here heheee)

Justifying my need for a blog

People always ask me why I like blogging so much. Some prefer to keep their private lives to themselves, and to not share publicly what they’re doing, how they feel, what they’re going through and what kind of things they may be learning along the way. I’m sure many who come across my blogs will wonder how big-headed I must be to even think that people would care about the petty details that I share through my blogs.

Honestly, blogging has gotten me very far.
From a girl who never admitted to others that she was having a hard time (…ever), I’ve become a very, very open (sometimes too open), trying-to-be-transparent person, via blogging. Being honest to myself and the people around mehelped me to pull the ever-so-present mask off of my life and just surrender. I didnt want to fool anyone anymore. I just wanted to be honest; and this honesty has brought me quite far. It’s allowed me to see things that I was often blinded from because I always restricted myself to my own point of view. I was able to share with others the kind of things I was learning (no matter how obvious and stupid it seemed to be) and found that other people were learning or trying-to-learn those things too.

My primary reason is frankly because I want to remember my life.

In the past few years, I’ve realized that I have the worst memory in the world.. I’ll remember random moments like:

• when I was 3 I randomly daydreamed that an elephant was sitting in the couch of my LA apartment ( I seriously remember this vividly..I was in a car when I thought this)
• I cried when I was like 4 years old because my cousin Danny, shot down a birds nest with his water gun because I accidently told him about it even though my parents specifically told me not to
• In elementary school I wore a white dress for Picture day with a white bow and everyone sang the Wedding Song and I was embarrassed so I cried
• in 4th grade the love of my life, J, got hit by the ball during dodgeball and I wanted so badly to help him up but I was too shy.
• In elementary I used to call this guy named David Lim “Limhead”
• I remember the first time I slept in the house I’m living now. I was 5
• I remember going to Hometown Buffet with my family to celebrate the day I started my period.. (TMI? haha)

These are random memories that I have. However, in the course of my life, and even in the course of these past two years, my life and thinking and character (I would hope) have changed drastically and to be honest, I dont really know how I got here. I dont remember what kind of things I specifically struggled with, or what kind of thoughts I had been confused about, and what kind of convictions I had developed as I was going through X, Y and Z. Here I am— a completely different person from who I was only a handful of years ago— and I dont really remember how I got here.

It’s a frustrating problem. and blogging happened to be my solution. I hope that in 10 years I will be employed as a nurse in some hospital, married, and hopefully with a kid or two. Via my commitment to blogging, I’ll be able to look back and see how stressed I used to be for silly midterm exams, how excited I was when I got my first set of scrubs, how shocked I was when I got engaged, what kind of things I learned during the first year of marriage, how hard it was struggling to find a job close to church, and how I coped with a sudden loss of a loved one. so on and so forth. Not a bad reason, right?

A secondary reason (although it could be taken as just another primary, I suppose), is that I hope that as I blog about the kind of things I experience, the people I meet, the things I think and the various lessons I learn— that those who read my blog (close friends, acquaintances, sisters, church members, strangers or whatever) will in some miraculous way be encouraged. I know that I’m not naturally some extraordinary person who inspires people because I save lives and donate millions of dollars to poor people. I’m just an ordinary college student trying to be somebody, a horrible sister and daughter trying to patch up an internally broken family, a failing friend learning to die to myself for their behalf and a redeemed sinner trying to live up to the calling I’ve received. All in all, I’m just an ordinary joe. But the Extraordinary God works in ordinary peeps like me and does extraordinary things. Evidence of grace is everywhere and it’s splattered in my life like paint on a richly colored easel. And as an individual who hopes to realize daily the evident work God is doing, I hope that in turn it will encourage those who follow along as well.

From the intentions I had for this “Why I blog” blog post, my entry did not do myself nor my thoughts justice. But I guess that just proves my point. This is just an ordinary blog from an ordinary person trying to become more aware of the Extraordinary things the Extraordinary God is always doing; and that’s good enough reason for me.

I will proclaim your greatness, my God and king;
I will thank you forever and ever.
Every day I will thank you;
I will praise you forever and ever.
The Lord is great and is to be highly praised;
his greatness is beyond understanding.

Psalms 145:1-3

Sister beach day

Yesterday my sisters an I took a rain-checked beach trip to Corona Del Mar. It was Katherine’s last day of SAT classes for the summer (which she labored day in and day out since summer started) and so we just took some time to celebrate! It was nice because we just laid around and read and slept and talked. “This was the most relaxing beach trip ever” they kept saying. “This is perfect, perfect, perfect”.

Out of the many good things about this summer, one key thing has been the ways this summer has allowed me to grow closer to my sisters. We were always close because the three of us are all some-what outgoing girls who are willing to talk once in a while. (Usually thats all it takes for girls to be close). But this summer has definitely deepened the conversations that we have, the amount of content that we share and even in the sweet times we get to hang out like the beach day.

Summer’s sweet

Give thanks— praying in the car, Audrey, Katherine, being home, the fact that my mom is coming back today, long weekend.

It came!

My nursing uniform came in the mail today!

It was delivered to my house so my sister sent me pictures. :) This 7th grade dream is slowwwly feeling more and more real...almost like a dream.

and this is just the beginning. crazy

every blessing you pour out

i'll turn back to praise

give thanks- remembering Your provision and grace in providing me with my uniform, the provision and grace You will continue to lavish me with as I go through with this, structured schedules and to-do lists, disciplining my weak and weary flesh, iron that sharpens and people who serve to remind, the strength you give me to try again.

no giving up

p.s. I have been starbucks and coffee-free and spent $4 in the last 2 days. Yayuhhhh

Mid-summer update

Speaking mostly through pictures:

Korea Update
So my mom's in Korea right now, and she sounds like she's been having a good time. She actually had to go to get some check-ups because she hasnt been feeling well. All seems to be going okay, and she seems to be really enjoying her time and the food there. I miss korea. I miss the liberating freedom of the atmosphere. My mom seems to be living life to the fullest there: HAHA

Education 50, and snacks
My teacher loves eating snacks in class and so he assigns 4 people to bring snacks every single class time. So half of the class time we're just eating snacks. It's awesome. This is my new friend Mike. He really likes the snacks policy.



ARC
For the last few weeks I've been really enjoying the ARC alot more than I ever did before. It always feels really good after coming back from the ARC and I have a habit of coming back to my apartment, and just standing around and stretching for like 20 minutes before I shower. Yesterday as I was stretching, I wanted to see how fat I would look with the photobooth "Bulge" option...


This was depressing. So I thought I'd see what I'd look like if I was buff



I got really embarrassed hahahahahahahh


and then I just jumped around

I'm at work right now and i'm on my break. but its over now
have a good day

give thanks-- your ever-present grace in my life, and in me

Sleepy summer

For some strange reason I've been incredibly sleepy for the past couple of days. I never really had a hard time waking up in the mornings, but these days everyday has been a wrestling conversation about how badly I wish I could stay in bed and how I should get up even if I feel tired.

I went outside in hopes that I would stay awake but the sun was too bright (refer to Figure A) and I couldn't read or see anything so I had to come back inside. Now I'm on a comfortable starbucks couch, and if anybody saw me they would say that I'm laying down on this one-person seat. I look pretty foolish, but I swear after this blog post I will sit upright like a normal human being in front of a table, and study for my class.

This week seriously flew by and I feel like the rest of the summer will fly by along with it. This week has been nice. I really like my new summer school class. I'm taking a class called Education 50 right now, and it kind of reminds me of high school. Our class is in this big conference room and we sit in tables of 6-8 people and our tables are "teams". I'm in a team full of athletes and I'm the only asian so it's pretty awesome. Now that I think about it, we look pretty cool. Or I do at least, with them next to me. They're all super tall and super athletic looking and I look like a puny little asian girl who's name must be "Lin" or "Soo" or something. Our presentation is going to be on Sports (ha,figures) but it's pretty awesome. I'll try to take a picture with them next week hehe

My mom went to Korea yesterday. She called me last night when I was sleeping, right before she was gonna board her plane. I miss her already. My mom isn't feeling well. She went to Korea to get some health check-ups because it's cheaper in Korea. If you ask me honestly, I'm scared. From the way she describes it, it could be a few of a million things and it scares me. But it's times like these when I know God searches deep within my heart to see the genuineness of my faith in Him. It's easy to have faith when everythings going well. It's easy to say "Blessed be the name of the Lord" when everything is easy.

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in You
In God, whose word I praise
In God I trust, I shall not be afraid
What can flesh do to me?"

Psalms 56:3-4

Study time! Blessed be the name of the Lord. Coram Deo.

Give thanks-- lunches, good days, the back of the ARC, pAaron and tina, fellowship with tC, waking up enough to end this blog and go study.

My fickle friend, the summer wind

It's 3:33 so I thought I'd update.
I'm very tired these days. In the last 24 hours, I slept 14 hours. Is that disgusting?
I'm at home right now but I'm going to head back to Irvine in 30 minutes.
I love emails.
This summer is a very, reading summer. I like it
500 days of Summer is a cute movie, but it made me sad :o(
I want to sing a song


This was a strange blog update.

Give thanks-- remembering how Big you are when I feel small.

Chapter 2

Just some exciting things

• July 2009 marks the month of the most blog entries I've ever written in one month!
• 1st summer session of Summer school is over and done, 2nd starts tomorrow!
• I can't believe it's August! 2 more months til school :oD yaaaay
• I started my 3rd book of this summer this weekend. There's so many books I want to read..
  
• Took all of my shots and got my blood drawn for testing last friday!
• I have an iTouch now! After about a year of wanting one and about 2 months of debating whether or not it was worth it to buy one (I have a video Ipod already..), I bought a new one from Kevin, my generous friend! (o: and I reaaaaaaally like it!
  
  
• I also took this HIPAA online training for nursing today!
  
  doesn't look all profeshunalz or anythang but it's something :O) and I really feel this year creeping in on me now! I'm so excitddddd
• I just ate the healthiest dinner of my life. and I'm pretty tired and my stomach hurts :o( so I'm going to sleep soon yay!
  
• My mom is going to Korea this week!
  

There's so many things to look forward to this week, this month and the rest of this summer. As I'll be taking an easier, non-major course for the summer-- hopefully it'll grant me the time to read more and to prepare more for next year. Life is so exciting. God is good.

Give thanks-- the start of Chapter 2, time to read, my really cool ipod touch, weekend to relax, messing up, remembering that Christ came for screw ups like me, times of refreshing, excitement for everything, time to pray.