I'm a big girl now

I know this is my millionth time but please forgive. I dont know I just feel like this one is easier to maintain. If you were wondering as to how I've been doing, I'd be lying if I told you I was completely okay.

I am broken man. and incapable of doing anything well. I asked for brokenness and I feel Him breaking me. I asked for emptiness and I can feel Him removing layers of stability from my heart. I asked for Him to open my eyes and I've been able to see more and more the all the uglies inside of me. It's painful and it's so hard.. but I asked for it. and it's scary because I know it's merely a taste of what I really asked for. but hopefully I can pull through no matter how hard the wind blows so that I can just see how much stronger He is.

That is why, for Christ's sake,
I delight in weaknesses,
in insults,
in hardships,
in persecutions,
in difficulties.
For when I am weak,
then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:10

I am weak sauce 2000. I'm alot more pathetic than I ever thought I was. but it's at times like these when I see just how much Bigger He is. and how silly I must look to be trying so hard on my own.

Today was our first Korean BBQ for CCM.
I watched West Side Story with Susan and we cried.
My heart hurts.