Peace at last

It's confusing to me.
I could say it seems like a strange biological, psychological, scientific, emotional catastrophe. I could call it magic. It's a miracle almost. It still makes my jaw drop and my heart restless in disbelief whenever I come to find the kind of indescribable peace He can give to me even when everything seems completely lost.

I'm easily swayed, I must admit. Swayed by people, what they think, what they say.. swayed by instabilities, swayed by my insecurities, swayed by circumstances and even by my fickle emotions. There's nothing secure or stable in this world and it frustrates me. It's almost impossible to ever sit still and ever feel as if every puzzle piece in the world is at its right pace. I think we as people always strive to find stability: in our identities, in our emotions, in our beliefs, in our relationships, in our financial standings, in our jobs, our grades at school, and our image to the public eye. I think I personally become so burnt out from trying to maintain this kind of stability in every area of my life and if you ask me today, I would tell you I'm tired.

But in this marathon we're all running, I find that we just have to learn how to pace ourselves, to pull forward past the leg cramps, verges of dehydration, our exhaustion and our overly dramaticized cry of desperation when we're most tired. We need to jog slowly, take a few drinks in between, rest when we have to, stretch when we're sore and keep our eye on the final destination.

So many times I forget to look past what's only in front of me. I mourn and become devastated over things that are only a foot or two ahead of me when in the bigger perspective, they are all stepping stones in building me into the person He wants to mold me to be.

So I need to stop complaining, stop expecting, stop hoping, stop measuring up people, my personal emotions and aspects in my life and just live, with my hand firmly gripping His, my eyes fixed upon His direction and my heart wholly undivided and unmoved by anything else but His love for me.

Sorry for the rant. I'm studying at starbucks right now and I just felt His sweet warmth brush upon my cheek so I thought I'd splurge. :)