Oversleeping

I love sleeping in. I love laying on my bed the night before a sleep-in day. You just lay there staring at the dark ceiling, looking at nothing, but totally quiet and still-- with no urgency to make yourself fall asleep as soon as possible. You just wait for yourself to peacefully fall asleep when your body feels like it and the next day the natural waking up morning just feels so much better. Someitmes I seriously can swear that I can hear the birds chirping, or the sunlight beaming through my window blinds even though its on the opposite side of my room.

I didn't mean to sleep in today. An unintentional, unplanned "sleep in" is an unfortunate and disappointing "oversleep". There's something extremely depressing and disappointing about oversleeping. Anytime I over sleep and miss something I feel miserable the whole day. Everything seems half as good, half as exciting. 2 doses of Nyquil zombied me 3 hours more than I was supposed to and I was unable to help the set up team this morning.

I slumped and sulk around all day feeling like a failure. Anything un-positive that anyone implied or said around me felt like a stab of a dagger, every cold gesture felt like a slap in the face. My sensitized emotions and the guarded posture of my heart made me restless. I dragged my feet into my room today after the day was over, looked around at my room and just felt like an even bigger epic failure. Thinking about finishing off this quarter is both liberating and exhausting. Just thinking about it wears me out. There is just so much to do any so little time .. and on my oversleeping, tired and sensitive days everything just seems alot worse than it is.

But then I think back and remember what great blessings I have, the countless things I have to be thankful for, the countless reasons to rejoice. No matter how great the mountain or how ginormous the monster seems to be, I have the tools, strength, energy and weapons to over come it. Even for the petty things like finals, or my lack of self confidence, my fear of man, the 400 lecture slides I will have to go over, the nights of oversleeping that seem so scary and overwhelming-- I have every reason to feel confident and ready for victory, because the victory has already been won for me.

As messed up, messy, gross, disgusting, tired, weary, impossible, incapable, dirty, filthy, broken or helpless I feel-- I'm so thankful that He gives me what I need to get up and try harder the next time. I came into my room, staring at the shambles and the overwhelming amount of pigsty I had to re-order. I felt defeated. Literally. I didnt want to do anything. But within minutes I was up and running-- picking up one thing at a time, putting this and that away, and my room is now clean, I have a towel at hand--ready for the shower that will help me end the beginning of this new week.

If I can get through that much,
I can do this too :) Lets do this













"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might...therefore, take up the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand in the evil day and having done all, to stand firm...To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints." Ephesians 6:10-20


Give thanks-- Sundays, To-Do lists, post its, dinners, all of my newly baptized friends, being refreshed and encouraged by the testimony of God's faithfulness in them, reassurance, the armor of God that equipps me, week 10 in all its excitement :)