zzz

My name is Sharon
and I am still behind on life.

This week is finally over and it
1) wasnt productive in terms of studying
2) was full of aloooot of working
3) brought much shame to myself
4) did not allow me to sleep too much

Next week I must
1) become a hermit and not allow myself to make plans with others
2) put alot more effort to be careful with my thoughts and words
3) sleep more. and earlier.

I am so exhausted. This week I failed in prioritizing. The consequence of that was I didnt get to sleep enough, study as much as I wanted to and I was often disappointed in myself in the way I interacted with other people -- whether it was via my thoughts or conversations..Despite all the things that didnt go right this week, there were many joyful accounts as well. If I were to share one-- Yesterday at Starbucks as I was leaving to change out of my uniform, a small chinese "fob" girl came and asked me, in her soft voice and broken english, whether anyone had turned in her binder. For a good 5 minutes I had to ask her step by step what exactly she was looking for. Her voice was shaky, and I knew she was scared. I remembered the way I felt when I lost something super important and the person I was seeking help from seemed disinterested. After 5 long hours of standing, I have to admit I was pretty exhausted and I wanted to go home very badly. But as she was frantically struggling to explain to me the color, size and shape of the folder she was looking for, my heart really pained for her. I searched everywhere, asked everyone. and the Lost and Found that we keep in front of the Registered only had a few sweaters and old coursebooks. I finally went to the back and asked my boss whether anyone had turned in a yellow UCI binder that day. She didnt even turn to look at me and responded with a "no" and just as all my hope for my new chinese "fob" stranger customer friend had dimmed away-- one random coworker mentioned that she did find one, she just 'forgot to tell anyone--maybe I shoulda'.. I ran out and as I was looking around holding the binder in my hand, I heard her gasp from a few feet away from me and she ran to me. She embraced it and grabbed my arm, explaining how she was scared and so worried because she wasnt a student here and misplacing the binder would have created so many problems. (or this is what I think she said, I really couldnt understand her that well) As we were holding hands, she continued to thank me for the little work I'd done and I (in my horrible speech and fobby accented English) continued to tell her how happy I was that I could help. Both of us spoke in stutters but we understood each other :) We hugged about 3 times and we parted ways. I dont even know her name but that one moment brought so much warmth to my entire week.

Random story, I know. But I needed to remember that before I started studying again... sigh I really hope that I can stop moping and dragging my feet around and I'll be able to start running again. Ackkkk I'm so tired... save me.......


Give Thanks--- the idea of sleep, excitement for bible study today, the hope of prayer, text messages.