I missed an in-class assignment today because I needed a break. I tried to catch up on 4 lectures today but barely finished one. I dont remember the material I've been studying for the past few weeks. I dont think I'm gonna have time to look into it too much until the end of this week. I missed my rehersal today. I have class in 6 hours. My room is a mess. I have so much laundry, I need to catch up on my readings. I'm hungry! My vision is getting blurry, but it's all okay :)
I find such hope in knowing that I'm always given everything I need to go and do things joyfully. The road is paved, the directions are marked. I'm well dressed in the right attire, the tools have been given-- it's just up to me to pick up the pieces and run with it.
So like I've said in the post before, I've been taken off the regular schedule in order to take on my role (officially) as a "Learning Coach" aka "LC"
I trained my 2nd trainee today. It was hard training a stranger (my first trainee was Skye, a cutie friend of mine). Definitely took alot of time and patience but it was also extremely rewarding. I'm so thankful that I've been given a job where I can really get them comfortable and excited to work at starbucks, to teach them and to equip them with the right skill and knowledge they need to be affective, and the grand oppurtunity I have to really represent Christ in the way I serve, and to demonstrate the love of Christ through my patience and joy.
I've found that being in a position where I'm to teach them to be "servants" in such a 'buisness', I can share with them my faith, where I come from, what I stand by, and why I strive to work, love and serve the way that I do. But to be honest, It's really scary.
Sharing my faith with them, showing them my faith in the gospel, and incorporating myself with the person of Christ is what I believed to be something too scary, too risky, too hard. Once I profess my faith, everything I do and say, everyway I react and interact will be carefully observed, analyzed and judged.. My patience will be measured, my joy will be examined, my heart will be tested and I know that people are prone to make judgement and assumptions about me, Christianity and Christ according to my conduct.
It scares me because.. my biggest fear is that due to my failing flesh, I will (in some way, however big or small) misrepresent and taint the name of Christ; It really causes me to tremble in fear thinking that Christ could be demeaned by my sinful, evil and disgusting nature and character. But then I also see the challenge that comes with it-- how this very representation would challenge me to be more discerning, to be more cautious, to be more earnest and strive harder to accurately and effectively be more and more like Christ: in love, in humility, in patience, in faith and in His servant-like, God-exalting, God-glorifying character.
It scares me, but I see the opportunity to plainly be there. It scares and excites me. I fear it and I am grateful for it. So torn... haha but we'll see how it goes. Hopefully I will have the boldness to be firm in the things I profess, and that God will continue to pour down his grace upon me as I (in my pitiful personality and lack of strength) earnestly strive to be a reflection of the perfection I'm called to be..
Give thanks-- strength to stay up this late, laughing, tracy, esther, melissa, candace, my macbook and all the good things that come with it, the moisture that lotion brings, late night talks with esther, honesty, apostle paul's love for the gospel, transferring my hand-written journal habits to private blogspot ones again, looking forward to sleeping warm with my duck
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