on end-of-the-quarter evaluations, sustained hope in His love for me, and the joys of rewarding myself

Finals week is here! and I actually just finished my first final (for Drugs and the brain) and although I really didn't study for it because I was studying for Biochemistry, I think I will pass the class! (I'm taking it pass no pass thank goodness..) Because I'm done with one, I have this really big feeling of peace and joy in my heart-- so do you readers mind if I splurge? and write a whole lot?? :o)

My dear friend bChao inspired me to do in the beginning of this quarter-- I will end the quarter with end-of-the-quarter reviews (on a un-biased/kinda-biased view..and I'll keep it short I promise!)

1. Biochemistry:
   by reputation this is the absolute hardest class I will have to take in my first 2 years as a bio major and so far its been slightly that way. I've studied a total of 9 hours so far for this class and It's only been two lectures. I'm really scared but I know I'll be okay .
   Biochem was actually not that bad. Although sometimes I'd freak out about the amount of material, the amount of enzyme names and intermediate structures I had to memorize-- it was a fun experience and taking my own personal notes for that class was honestly my pride and joy this quarter :) I have yet to take my final and I dont know how well I'm going to do in it, but regardless it was a fun ride and I can confidently say that this class taught me not to procrastinate and how to handle my time better!
   
   
2. Drugs and the Brain:
   This is actually a random class I'm taking because I'm getting paid to take notes haha. Isnt that cool? I'm taking it pass no pass but its been interesting thus far.
   Sigh everything about my review ended up being inaccurate. I ended up not being able to get the job for this class because someone took my spot the day before, and so I ended up being stuck with it. and Although there was possibly about 1 or 2 lectures out of the 30 that were interesting, the rest were so dreadful. I dont think I really learned anything in this class, but it was nice sharing notes with Memo, ninaK and diana..and sending my notes to Kenneth "miserable" Han everytime he'd freak out before the exams.. :) Those were the only highlights of the class hahaa
   
   

1. Prison Gangs
   By far, my favorite class this quarter haha. I added it last minute but we just watch videos in class and the teacher cusses all the time but the class goes by really fast.
   As anticipated, this class ended up being my favorite class. We watch videos in class, have one essay to do, and no midterms or finals? What's not to love? Despite how interesting and intriguing this class was, it definitely opened up my sheltered and baby eyes to a taste of the real world. There's so much more than what's in my immediate view and the evil and sinfulness of man was made so apparent to me through this class. This world is so scary, and people are so scary, and gangs are so scary.. It made me really scared of gangsters..
   
   Oh maaaaah baaaaad.. (this was me during..10th grade? HAHAHA)

----

So after finishing my first final, I head over to the book store to bring an end to a very big decision I had been wrestling with for a few weeks now. It was a really tough decision and I didn't want to make any hasty, rash choices-- so I made sure to refrain myself until I felt confident that I had spent enough time deliberately thinking about it. After a few weeks of thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that some investments (however huge they may seem to be) are worthwhile! So I did it! I trotted down ring road confidnetly, excited and eager to go in there and bring to a close what my heart had been hanging on for so long. After so many weeks of debating, wrestling, anticipating, and examining the trueness of my heart's desire..I finally bought my Moleskin.

See the thing is, I already have a notebook that is half-written on, but I decided to invest in this $17.95 (+tax) journal. Why? because i want to start over. For a while, I wanted to start a how-to-be-a-better-person-how-to-fix-my-mistakes-how-to-evaluate-my-ugly-heart-and-make-it-pretty kind of "manual" where I could write about and evaluate the different things I struggle with, the things I have a hard time doing, different gifts of mine that God is starting to reveal to me, how to use those gifts, how to fix my mistakes, how to grow from my shortcomings, and so on. Hopefully through this I will be a better person, better sister in Christ, a better daughter , a better sister, a better friend, a better co-worker, a better acquaintance, a better stranger to cross paths with, and hopefully it will build me to be the best wife I could be (?) haha I know I'm a little grossy..

I also bought a set of headphones. My old ones had broken a few weeks ago but I didnt want to buy a new one until I studied enough. So purchasing these 2 things were sort of like my "reward" hehe.... I know it's joggum (a little bit) lame but its honestly making me so happy and smiley inside. haha I know I'm an easy-to-please loser.. dont judge me!


So I sit here, one final down, one more to go, well-rested, moleskin-owning with a nice cold starbucks drink and music ringing through my headphones and I'm ready for more. Let's all be victorious this week. And dependent, more than ever!

Give thanks --unending joy I can always find in You, prayer before sleep, deep sleep, being finished with my first final, my 4-person 3 hour small group, my family, moleskins, music, having the next 2 days to study for biochem, Your grace that fully covers me, Your joy that fully sustains me, the strength to be joyful, random conversations, the how You reassure my faith-lacking heart

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And Earth has nothing I desire but You.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever. (Psalms 75:25-26)