The evidence of grace in my sisters

I've failed in alot of things in my life-- but one thing in particular that I fail extremely bad in is being a good sister.

Alot of people dont know, but I am the oldest (yes, the oldest....hard to believe, I know) of three girls. I have two younger sisters-- one is a very talented and funny artist at Otis Art School in LA and the other is my baby darling cutie sweet heart, Katherine who is currently a sophmore in high school.

Here, let me formally introduce you to them

Everyone, this is my little sister Audrey

and here's my baby sister, Katherine


And here they are-- they are my pride and joy :)


haha

We're all really different. They have all the good-looking, talented genes. but that's okay, cuz I got the work ethic. (that's all, haha) They're even taller than me.......

(please remember that I am the oldest..)

but we are also very similar.. especially in our meekness..


and

yes.. cant you tell?

We were always relatively close. We always played well together, and got along like any set of friends would. We know each other's secrets, love life stories, regrets, fears, habits-- everything. From the admirable goods.. to the disgustingly shameful bads. I was always thankful for that. They are really like my closest friends..




However----

Despite how close we were, we never really had God-centered conversations and I can say that the times we've spent together have not been very fruitful..This obviously resulted in a shallow, worldy, self-centered relationship. I believe that our love for one another was real, but we were restricted by the standard of "love" in this world and never had anything deeper than a normal,nautral-family-bound-love-and-care for one another. Dont get me wrong, I know that this love in itself is one that is deep, beautiful and stable.. but there is definitely more than that out there.

Today we ate dinner together for the first time. We always go out with our family, but we never ever sat down together at a restraunt to share a meal with just the three of us.. Shamefully, it was the first meal that I formally bought for them. As we were eating, I was ashamed of the kind of sister I've been and the one that I currently was as we sat down eating our burgers. I decided to bring up their salvation-- I was never sure, and I always prayed that they would be but never tried asking them before.

They were taken aback by the blunt question--and one of them even scoffed saying that the conversation was becoming too "serious". I think I can say that it was a semi-awkward-hard-to-get-through time.. but I'm so thankful that it happened.

Later that night we sat down together to pray before Katherine went to bed. She has class at 7am tomorrow so her bed time was at 10. It was 10:30 but we decided to pray together anyway-- I begged them haha. (I would..I know) We sat and shared prayer requests and as they struggled to tell me how they had shamefully fallen back from their spiritual growths, I decided to share the gospel with them. It was something they had heard repeatedly before but I tried my best to help them to understand, to help them un-blind their eyes, so that I could somehow be used by God in softening their hearts.

It was such a beautiful, humbling, heart-warming, joyful time for me. We prayed together and decided to read through Philippians together so that we could keep each other accountable. We made a blog today and there we will share what we are learning, ask questions about things we dont know, and just spur one another on (I really pray this will be affective)

I know that even as I sit here writing this blog, I'm still a really bad sister. Possibly the worst. I dont even know how to be a good sister!!!! As the oldest, I fail as an example, as a dependable role model, as an accessible friend, and as someone that they could feel secure trusting. and in this life of striving to glorify God, in my daily disciplines, I fail really bad as well.

But I find hope in that God can use me, despite my shortcomings and failures, despite my lack of discpline and patience.. and I know that through this, God can now be glorified with our beautiful-but-used-t0-be-worldy-but-hooefully-not-anymore sister relationship, and I hope and pray that He will lead, strengthen and guide me as I really labor hard to help my sisters to grow, learn and love Christ more.

I'm excited and scared. but at the same time, very hopeful.
I strongly believe that one day I will see my sisters come to know Christ the way I have and that they will grow to love the gospel the way that I have grown to love it.

We have a long way to go, and many many many months of laboring to endure through. Alot of barriers to break, foundations to rebuild, questions to answer, conversations to have-- but we'll get there. and I hope that I can continue to share my joy with you..even if its just through this blog :)

Please pray for us.




Give thanks-- audrey and katherine, intentional conversations, the demonstration of God's amazing grace through Christ, coming home, first dinner with sisters, the fact that I have sisters, a chance to start again, the book of philippians, prayer, FINDING OUT THAT I DIDNT FAIL, God's grace in that, joy, the comforts of home, the joy that's in my heart right at this moment.