seven days

So I will be officially done with the winter quarter of my 2nd year in 7 days.

Excited? yes. Ecstatic? Just a bit. RELIEVED? almost. Happy? you bet..
until then-- I will have to labor and invest my time, energy, brain strength and concentration to the 2 not-so-bad classes I am taking and the my very dear friend Biochemistry for the last time. I'm not doing too bad, catching up okay-- but I'd be lying to you if I told you I wasn't tired.

The symptoms of a cold slash flu slowly creeps beneath me, and I have to keep fighting it off because I don't want to make eye contact. Why? Why now? Why not a little bit before? Why in the most busiest time of the entire quarter must you come and embrace me? Why! Although the symptoms of this possible sickness creeps up on me, I find so much hope and strength knowing that God carries me. It's when I am most weak when He refreshes me and His big and mighty strength feels most near. How exciting!

Today I realized (yet again) that I am such a failure.
I fail to love. I fail to perserve. I fail to encourage. I fail to be patient. I fail to exalt Christ. I fail to do all things joyfully. I fail fail fail fail fail. I fail to be bold. I fail in sharing the gospel. I fail in being someone of integrity. I fail in being genuine. I fail as a student, daughter, friend, roommates, sister, trainer, etc.... I lack the love, strength, knowledge, understanding, endurance and everything you ever need to do anything in this life. I'm sitting here feeling pretty defeated with my brain really empty and my lack of productivity weighing down on my back.. and let me tell you, it's not a light load. I know I'm blabbing. But let me just say that tomorrow is a new day. and I'm excited to try again.

Things I really want to do after this quarter is over:
1) Read books outside drinking a refreshing drink
2) Reading at a coffee shop on the couches since I dont need a table to write on
3) Playing Piano
4) Go to a Museum of some sort and just slowly walk around
5) Go to the beach
6) Eat a meal with an old friend and have a good conversation
7) Watch movies. (shameful, i know but i really never get to watch tv)
8) Take a mid-day nap
9) Cook dinner for my sister
10) Go to the mall just to walk around
11) Take a walk at the park to write

Here are just a few.
Maybe I'll make a picture blog post later after spring break to see which of these things I did :)

I'm excited.

Give thanks-- In-N-Out's #2 meal, the comfort of wearing sweats, the joy of being a trainee, encouraging friends who I can share evidences of grace with, Hot tea at starbucks, my warm heated bed, Susan Lee (its her birthday today..), remembering God's faithfulness, the fact that tomorrow is a new day where I can try again, anticipating 7 days, 2 productive days of biochem studying, Dexter and his willingness to hear the gospel, the saving power of the gospel, calling my mom, Chuck saving me with a bowl of pho and a Mac Charger (thank you!!!!), scarves, hugs, remembering that Your boundless grace and unconditional love is more than enough for me..

I'm gonna study tomorrow
reading and sleeping now..goodbye!