clean. sing. speak.

It's 4am and I regret being up this late. I've been drinking way too many shots of espresso these days and it's been really messing with my head. Today I felt very...disoriented for some reason, hence, I stayed up and did my laundry, cleaned my room, threw out my trash, wiped down my bathroom sink, and re-did my room. There's something beautiful about cleaning your room. I always seem to clean after some big test, or after something really crazy happens-- I guess it's when I feel like my room and I are both in a "mess" phase. But after re-organizing and cleaning my entire room, I must admit I feel refreshed. Sore, exhausted and tired-- but all the more refreshed.

I know it doesnt look clean or different to you (maybe), but I assure you it is very different... these pictures fall short in showing you just how clean my room is. sigh.

On the topic of cleaning, yesterday our toilet flooded and I woke up this morning to a puddle of toilet water that seeped under the door to the beginning of my room's door entrance. Lovely. It also seeped through the wall getting all of our shoes somewhat wet with juciy, beautiful h20 from the toilet. Lovely. Today I had to call them and ask them to come mop/fix our bathroom. 3 Mexican janitors came (yes, it took 3 of them to do this: vacumming the water out, mopping, unsecrewing the toilet, etc..) and I was so embarrassed. We shared a few laughs and they made fun of me blaming me for the toilet flooding (it wasnt me by the way...) I taught them some korean and they taught me how to say "I love you" in Spanish..they even let me announce that my toilet was clogged in korean into their Walkie- Talkie.














Regardless of the good laughs we had, I was still so embarrassed......... :*(

So I'm in the UCI Co-ed Acapella group. (It's new so we dont have a name yet) we're supposedly performing a song or to for the upcoming Acapella and this is our second week meeting. We're singing "Penny Lane" and I was assigned the Melody. Flattering, right? WRONG. It's cause I'm the only one in the group who is new and who cant read music. Everyone else had like 12 years of some sort of Chamber Choir and they can play like every instrument in the face of this earth whereas I still need to count all my notes from C and write it above the note, and I stopped playing piano forreals around 7 years old......I rock. But I honestly practice really hard. We got our music Yesterday through email and today I spent 3+ hours pounding every single note, trying to sing it and I tried to sing my part with the song they sent us...


This was all in the span of 2 days... I'm really trying :(
But every practice I feel so inadequate. It really sucks because I'm really not good and all of them intimidate me. None of them really make me feel super comfortable but it's because I'm n3wbie I guess.. Hopefully I'll practice enough to be good enough to enjoy this.. sigh. There are just alot of reasons why I dont want to do it-- but I love it so I will do my best to stick to it. Please support me after I get good... haha (not before then though)

Today I had various conversations and was continuously reminded of the magnificent of power we have with our words. Words are so powerful: piercing, uplifting, constructive, destructive, hurtful, degrading, inspiring, loving, hating, the list goes on... and yet words flow like carbon dioxide from our lips. The Dangerous thing about words is you cant take it back once it's been spoken and once it's been heard. No matter how much you want to erase it from someone's memory, as much as you want to rewind a minute or two to take back what you said-- words spoken are words heard forever and nothing you want can ever change that. That's so scary if you think about it. I've found that I am very careless with my words. I've probably hurt, discouraged, degraded and upset many with the careless matter in which I handle my words and when I reflect back to my ruthlessness, I feel so overwhelmed with guilt and frustration because of the fact that I don't have a solid list of all the hurtful things I've said, and all the times I must have slapped someone across the face with a careless remark I've said.

My dad used to tell me that words were like knives. It could be used to make delicious meals and gourmet dishes when used correctly, but when used incorrectly it could hurt people, or yourself. (corny but true hahah)

We have the power to do so many great things with this "freedom of speech" that we wave around like some proud banner.. but we fall short in taking advantage of this gift. I wanna try harder to be intentional with my words. To only say things that would uplift, encourage and build up people... seriously sounds impossible.. haha Let's try though...



Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Give Thanks-- room cleaning, white mocha, eG and bChao who enjoyed my mushy cooking, my keyboard, a day of rest, a clean room, the road to a cleaner heart and mouth.