ready, set.....

There is seriously something so personally beautiful about the beginning of the week. I've started a weekly habit for me to clean my room, re-organize my clothes, throw out my trash, set up my binder, and take a deep breath before the new week steps in. It's seriously so refreshing and I honestly get this burst of pleasure from it..

I went home this weekend for the first time since winter break and it was just nice being home: eating home cooked meals that actually taste fresh, sleeping on a big, well-heated bed for as long as I wanted, being able to talk to my family whenever I wanted and give them hugs and kisses every 5 seconds. :o) I absolutely loved it.

I dont really have much to say-- but there are a few things that are on my mind, so I'll just vomit them out. My hair is brown and getting so long I love it. I am so judgemental. I am so impulsive I need to calm down and just let myself process things once in a while without freaking out. I have little integrity when it comes to my character sometimes, I'm so ashamed. I need to pray more. I have a heating pad on my bed and I'm so excited to sleep at night now. Before today, sleeping was so miserable because I was always so cold and my bed always felt clammy :( I have too much pride. I need to set more goals. I am a bad sister and daughter. I am a bad friend. My clean room feels so nice. I want to take a bath. I hope the weather is nice this week. My hands feel dry. I wish I had silver band rings. I have to study alot this week...

So story of the day: so today I had practice for my acapella group from 9pm-11pm. Esther dropped me off (thank you, i love you) and we had a pretty good practice. I still need to practice more but I'm getting there and the practices have been really nice lately-- the people have been helping me alot and it's really fun! I just need to keep practicing. Anyways, I didnt want to ask anyone for a ride back because 1) I feel bad asking 2) I dont want to be burdensome 3) I know all of these reasons sound so stupid and lame and pathetic but i'm sorry. haha and so I decided to walk back. I figured it'd be good excercise anyways and I love walking! its such a nice thinking, listening to music time ;) haha and so I was walking and I tried to be "smart" and take a shortcut so I started to walk up this dirt hill in my boots and because it rained for the past 2 days, it was really muddy and I got stuck in the middle of the hill...............in the mud............and I couldnt go any further up, so I had to put my hands on the mud and climb up..like an animal..or a tarzan..or a loser (take your pick) hahaaha I was so embarrassed but I just wiped my hands on my pants and ran home...here are the remants after i tried to wipe ALL the mud off my hands while I was walking back (I know it looks lame but I swear all of it was on my pants thats why..haha)


note to self: dont walk up muddy hills in your boots

I dont know if I've talked about this here-- i've been talking about it with so many people these days I've lost count. but recently I've memorized Philippians 1:27

"Whatever happens, conduct yourself in a manner worthy of the gospel"

I know that no matter how hard I try I'm always going to fail and be disappointed. but I also know that I need to remember that the grace, strength and joy He provides for me will always suffice in empowering me to keep trying at least. so let's do it. and let's make resolutions (simple ones and nonsimple ones) and give thanks everyday. so here we go.

Resolved to sleep earlier so that my lack of will not affect my attitude or the way that I conduct myself during the day
Resolved to be faithful in word and prayer
Resolved to be a better daughter and sister (by praying for them more and encouraging them more on a weekly basis...)
Resolved to reaaaaaaaaally watch what I say and do, and how i conduct myself in public, with friends, with strangers, co-workers, classmates etc so that everyone who sees/interacts with me will know that I love Christ
Resolved to love Christ MORE

I'm eternally Yours, my King..

Give thanks-- beginning of weeks, berean college ministry, shoulda woulda coulda been hugs, nice rehersals, the warm heating pad that will welcome me to sleep, the confidence I can have in approaching You