I am not exaggerating when I say I am behind on everything right now.
I fool myself into think that there isn't enough time in a day or in a week to finish all the things I have to do, to be caught up in the various obligations I am responsible for, and to excel in all the things I should be doing superbly in. I know that I am a fool because I am only fooling myself to believe that this is so, in order to justify for the lack of progress I've been making..
So this week will be my official "catch up week". More than anything, I'm determined to catch up in school. It's 3rd week now, meaning that only 2 weeks have passed, so it's not too much to catch up on-- but enough to keep me insanely busy for the next 4-5 days. 4 extremely long lectures of Microbiology to master, 4 material-packed Molecular Biology lectures to understand and 2 weeks worth of Gangs notes to obtain. As of now, it feels impossible but I know that it's not impossible.
I've realized that alot of times when I strive to excel or even accomplish in things that I set my heart to, my mere motivation, determination, inspiration and any other -ations out there will never suffice. I am too prone to grow weary and tired, i'm too easily distracted, too entangled and I give up way too easily. My body shuts out when it gets exhausted, my mind longs to resort to comfortable leisures like sleep and t.v. when I feel like I've done enough-- and in and of myself I will always fall short and fail. Thank God that I'm not limited to my own capacity to accomplish all these things. As impossible and as gruesome the overload of responsibility sounds, I have a warm sense of hope knowing that even if I can't do all these things, I can because of Him.
I can do all things through him who strengthens me. (philippians 4:13)
It is He who strengthens me, He who provides me with the sufficient determination and diligence I need in order to overcome whatever I have to do.. and with that hope of knowing that it IS indeed possible, How else could I possibly respond than to do all these things in joy? What worry should I have? What discouragement should I allow myself to be brought down by? Of course these are mere words that I don't fully believe in my own heart-- but this is the objective truth that I know and believe to be true--regardless of my silly hard-to-deal with disbelief.
So I'm subscribed to this DailyBibleVerse email, and this was what I found in my inbox today!
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? (romans 8:32)
As I start the ultimate "Catch Up Week" of my life, I want to labor and work hard for the sake of ultimately glorfiying Him. What more would be worth laboring for??? I want to be better and work hard, but in the process I may grow tired, I may get discouraged and my body and mind may fail me because I am such a pathetic weaksauce 99% of the time-- but if God loved me enough to spare His son to save me, why would I even worry about whether or not He would provide me with the strength, motivation and joy to do so?
I'm honestly still really nervous. I feel all jittery! But I'm excited to see how this Catch Up week will turn out as I really do it on His crazy strong fuel instead of my diluted-watered-down one :o) We'll see...
To Do;
_catch up in al my classes
_catch up on yotb
_sleep morea
_pray more
_ARC everyday again :o) fun
_encourage and love
good luck everyone. Run hard
Give thanks-- a day to remember the hope and the surpassing joy we have because He lives, sisters coming to Berean, Katherine's eagerness and Audrey's willingness, people at Berean, grace, beautiful naps, family time, anticipation for the coming week, hope and prayer.
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