Coffee stains

You make me smile.


--

There's something seriously beautiful about coffee-stained lecture notes. It happened while I was studying for my Molecular Bio midterm yesterday, and when it happened it sucked. I was carrying something on my lap and it knocked down the large cup of coffee behind it while I was turning to get my notes. Seeing the coffee spill onto my 4 weeks worth of lecture notes was not my favorite.. but with my midterm finished and the pile of stained notes piled on top of each other, i'm thankful for the coffee stains because it brings so much essence to it.

Pastor Peter Chung told Andrew Sata that "Time is made, not found"
and that hit home pretty hard for me. I always complain that I cant find the time to do this or that, that I find that I cant find the time to commit to this, or the reason that I didnt finish this on time was because I just coulndn't find the time. I couldnt find it. Find, find, find, find, kind, mind, chind, rind, pind, find. Find is lame. haha

If I really really wanted to do something. If i really wanted to meet with someone. If I really wanted to invest my heart and my time into something, I would make the time to do it. Whether that be by-- being more productive and not turning on internet while I study, staying up later, sacrificing unnecessary leisures-- I would make the time to do it. to accomplish it. to have it in the palm of my hands. I would go across oceans and run miles and work my heart out to make the time to do it (ok, maybe not run miles-- i hate running.)

Time is made,
not
found

I think you can really judge the thoughts, desires, and intentions of someone's heart by the priorities they tend to on a daily basis. If my heart was absolutely consumed and held captive by the things I claim to be "important", why would I put trivial and insignificant things before it?
Obviously, my heart is elsewhere.

I desperately need re-focusing. now.


Goodbye,

give thanks-- spinach dip, finishing my molecular midterm, Jesus seminar, costco samples, cartalks, that You are a sovereign God, the way You judge the thoughts and intentions of my heart and the way it freaking owns me in the face, the strength and hope you provide for me to try again after being owned, that you can clean my stains even though they are more hardcore than coffee stains





Shower me
with Your love
washing
my filthy
stains