People always ask me why I like blogging so much. Some prefer to keep their private lives to themselves, and to not share publicly what they’re doing, how they feel, what they’re going through and what kind of things they may be learning along the way. I’m sure many who come across my blogs will wonder how big-headed I must be to even think that people would care about the petty details that I share through my blogs.
Honestly, blogging has gotten me very far.
From a girl who never admitted to others that she was having a hard time (…ever), I’ve become a very, very open (sometimes too open), trying-to-be-transparent person, via blogging. Being honest to myself and the people around mehelped me to pull the ever-so-present mask off of my life and just surrender. I didnt want to fool anyone anymore. I just wanted to be honest; and this honesty has brought me quite far. It’s allowed me to see things that I was often blinded from because I always restricted myself to my own point of view. I was able to share with others the kind of things I was learning (no matter how obvious and stupid it seemed to be) and found that other people were learning or trying-to-learn those things too.
My primary reason is frankly because I want to remember my life.
In the past few years, I’ve realized that I have the worst memory in the world.. I’ll remember random moments like:
- when I was 3 I randomly daydreamed that an elephant was sitting in the couch of my LA apartment ( I seriously remember this vividly..I was in a car when I thought this)
- I cried when I was like 4 years old because my cousin Danny, shot down a birds nest with his water gun because I accidently told him about it even though my parents specifically told me not to
- In elementary school I wore a white dress for Picture day with a white bow and everyone sang the Wedding Song and I was embarrassed so I cried
- in 4th grade the love of my life, J, got hit by the ball during dodgeball and I wanted so badly to help him up but I was too shy.
- In elementary I used to call this guy named David Lim “Limhead”
- I remember the first time I slept in the house I’m living now. I was 5
- I remember going to Hometown Buffet with my family to celebrate the day I started my period.. (TMI? haha)
These are random memories that I have. However, in the course of my life, and even in the course of these past two years, my life and thinking and character (I would hope) have changed drastically and to be honest, I dont really know how I got here. I dont remember what kind of things I specifically struggled with, or what kind of thoughts I had been confused about, and what kind of convictions I had developed as I was going through X, Y and Z. Here I am— a completely different person from who I was only a handful of years ago— and I dont really remember how I got here.
It’s a frustrating problem. and blogging happened to be my solution. I hope that in 10 years I will be employed as a nurse in some hospital, married, and hopefully with a kid or two. Via my commitment to blogging, I’ll be able to look back and see how stressed I used to be for silly midterm exams, how excited I was when I got my first set of scrubs, how shocked I was when I got engaged, what kind of things I learned during the first year of marriage, how hard it was struggling to find a job close to church, and how I coped with a sudden loss of a loved one. so on and so forth. Not a bad reason, right?
A secondary reason (although it could be taken as just another primary, I suppose), is that I hope that as I blog about the kind of things I experience, the people I meet, the things I think and the various lessons I learn— that those who read my blog (close friends, acquaintances, sisters, church members, strangers or whatever) will in some miraculous way be encouraged. I know that I’m not naturally some extraordinary person who inspires people because I save lives and donate millions of dollars to poor people. I’m just an ordinary college student trying to be somebody, a horrible sister and daughter trying to patch up an internally broken family, a failing friend learning to die to myself for their behalf and a redeemed sinner trying to live up to the calling I’ve received. All in all, I’m just an ordinary joe. But the Extraordinary God works in ordinary peeps like me and does extraordinary things. Evidence of grace is everywhere and it’s splattered in my life like paint on a richly colored easel. And as an individual who hopes to realize daily the evident work God is doing, I hope that in turn it will encourage those who follow along as well.
From the intentions I had for this “Why I blog” blog post, my entry did not do myself nor my thoughts justice. But I guess that just proves my point. This is just an ordinary blog from an ordinary person trying to become more aware of the Extraordinary things the Extraordinary God is always doing; and that’s good enough reason for me.
I will proclaim your greatness, my God and king;
I will thank you forever and ever.
Every day I will thank you;
I will praise you forever and ever.
The Lord is great and is to be highly praised;
his greatness is beyond understanding.
Psalms 145:1-3
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